24 Days of Grateful [Day 9]
I feel kind of funny writing this after the serious, heavy tones of my most recent post, but this blog is all about honesty. So I’ll be honest. Yesterday, I was feeling introspective, thoughtful, and overwhelmed with my place in the world. Good things to feel sometimes.
Today, as my alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. and I stumbled to the bathroom mirror, blinking into bright lights and damning the sun for not being up yet, I was grateful for the tubes, brushes, and pigments that sit on my counter and help me pretend to be a put-together human every day. At least, they make me feel like it. And when you are heading into work two hours early in December, it is dark enough for headlights and that is a sad way to start.
I’m a makeup junkie. I have drawers, boxes, and cups filled with lipsticks standing straight, brushes shedding color, and pretty products meant to make me look glow-y stacked in a clear acrylic storage container. Thank you, Amazon. I love all of these things, as vain as I am, because when I put them on they hide the bags under my eyes and scars from teenage skin struggles. They make me look awake and active. They make me feel like I might fit into clothes that are not sweatpants. The truth is, there is nothing like a bright lip to motivate you to actually do something.
I don’t wear makeup for other people, and that is why I am grateful for it. It makes me feel more confident, whether or not I look actually look that different. I don’t wear lipstick because of Covergirl ads; I wear it because I freakin’ like pink and pretty things. It makes me feel pretty to wear pretty colors, and I am more productive when I feel good. Whatever works, right?
So I am grateful for lip gloss, especially on days when it is a struggle to get out of bed. Applying makeup is the act of covering up, of improving, of awakening. Wearing makeup is the beauty of feeling confident thanks to five minutes of concealer and thirty seconds of eyeshadow.
Dear mascara: thank you for reminding me that it is possible to fake it, even when life calls for energy that isn’t there.